How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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