If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize