Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
