can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
