we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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