I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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