Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
