Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
