I cannot find my penis.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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