Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
