Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
