she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
