physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
