i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Never let your siblings swipe right.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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