my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
