Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize