i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
