Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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