Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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