hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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