why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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