I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We are two peas in an std pod
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize