No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
