i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
