Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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