She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You can't special order awesome
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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