I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
