it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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