We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize