her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
is wine microwaveable?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
