Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You are a genius and a whore.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
