So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
