Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Never joke about your clitoris.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
