There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
