my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize