Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
