Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the condom got lost in my hair
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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