no, he came in my armpit
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
