First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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