So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
