he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
