My nipple is on Facebook.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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