Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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