ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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