This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
