I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
