Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
