I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
