im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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