she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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