We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
the liver wants what the liver wants
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize