Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
