There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
