at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
