holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
