How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
