Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
