Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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