I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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